Though most people won’t wait two years into sobriety to start dating, keep in mind that the smell of alcohol, the taste of a kiss [with someone who’s been drinking], the clinking of ice in the glass, as well as the bar and the bar scene could be triggers.”Irene Carroll, a North Carolina–based addiction therapist, says, “Dating is just so risky for people in early in recovery, especially so if you’re considering going out with someone who isn’t sober. ” Naturally, when going out with someone who drinks, sober people often wonder when and how to reveal the fact that they don’t drink.Carroll offers, “Most alcoholics know places that don’t serve liquor—coffeehouses, museums.“I only have a few months, and probably shouldn’t be dating anyone,” she confesses. It’s really hard to stay single when you feel like you’re giving up so much other stuff at the same time.” Dr. Falling in love is a sign that you are being restored to health.” Take it very, very slow.Rosalyn Dischiavo, a sexologist and licensed addiction counselor, has a cheerier outlook: “There is another, more optimistic truth about love in early sobriety: it shows that you are healing. Date like it's 1955, whether it's with someone new, or with your current partner or spouse. Belisa Vranich—a clinical psychologist specializing in sex and relationships—all agree that there is no reason why addicts and alcoholics shouldn’t be dating other addicts and alcoholics.A history of addiction doesn’t necessarily turn Mr./Mrs. They’ve waged a courageous battle, spending a great deal of time working to take care of and improve themselves.But before you put yourself in a position to fall for an addict, there are a few things you need to know: For anyone considering dating an active addict, it is important to realize that love cannot conquer addiction.
The rules of dating had shifted completely since I was a young lass and, without the social lubricant of martinis or wine, my old-school M. of getting wasted and ending up in bed with a cute guy from the party clearly wasn’t an option. Insensitive, I have gone on hundreds of dates—a handful with guys from the rooms but mostly online finds, generally social drinkers. So I decided to look into what’s worked for other sober folks, and to see what experts had to say about the matter of dating in recovery.–There are sober guys who are struggling or depressed, but a large portion of them are just regular, awesome guys who don’t drink or use drugs. These perks ofdating a sober person apply to anyone, regardless of gender.Some are serious, some are religious, and some aren’t; some are silly, outgoing, athletic, adventurous, and upbeat. I happen to be married to a sober dude, but this can apply to anyone who has a special sober someone.Go to the movies, take a walk in the park, go skiing together, but slow down and give the intimacy a chance to develop. According to Milrod, the most important foundation is simply that “sobriety needs to be a priority.In working with the spouses and significant others of addicts, I’ve often heard it said, “I’d rather be an addict than love one.” While few people would ever walk eyes-wide-open into a chronic disease like addiction, the statement speaks to the confusion, loneliness and despair common not only among addicts but also the men and women who love them. In fact, addicts who are solid in their recovery can make excellent partners.