He probably can’t remember the last time he had a good time. Somewhere in between platonic-like touching and mauling makes a divorced guy happy.
Chances are, the last few months (or years) of his marriage weren’t fun. He doesn’t want you plopping yourself down on his lap and making out at the dinner table at a fancy restaurant. Unlike guys before marriage, divorced guys aren’t into games.
Buser says that men often jump into dating because they're lonely, vulnerable, and sad, and they're looking for someone to help them feel better.
"The relationships they start do not often work out in the long run," he says. I've never had a man take me up on that advice, but I do try to slow them down." He also advises men to date casually at first.
If you end up in a long-term relationship with him, it could be detrimental, not only emotionally but also financially. Have the wisdom to recognize it and the courage to separate yourself from him if your gut tells you there is an issue. He is constantly talking about her, and you have a suspicion that he is using you to help break away from his feelings.
Divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide as married men.
Divorced men are also more prone to alcohol problems, so be careful of starting down that road.
I also realize that when men and women are newly divorced and on first dates, they might drink more alcohol than they normally do to ease nervousness. Narcissistic personality disorder can include an excessive need for admiration, the failure to recognize other people’s feelings, the inability to handle criticism of any kind, and a sense of entitlement. A person like this can be very difficult to be around and can really hurt your self-esteem, which is why you want to stay away from him. They are pretty easy to spot, and you will know within a few dates if your guy is seeing other women. You don’t deserve to have to deal with someone’s divorce baggage—you have your own.
Still, don’t let the infatuation you feel toward him mask a problem that might end up being significant. You might be OK with that, but don’t try to talk yourself into accepting a situation you don’t want to be in because either you think he will change or you are settling. An angry, bitter guy will complain about his situation, bad-mouth his ex, and focus on how unfair life is. Spending a lot of time with someone like this is exhausting and depressing. The National Council on Problem Gambling reported that 15% of Americans gamble at least once a week, and six million adults meet the criteria for problem gambling.